*a quick promise to you: our newsletter will always only ever be written by humans and never by robots. we wish we could say that this is out of love & respect for writing & the environment, and while those are both true, it’s mostly that we really tried a couple years ago for months on end to get the robots to write in this very weird (but always hilarious, obvi) tone and it just…has not delivered. easier AND funnier to keep it highly manual and we are very okay with that. thank you for your understanding.

while normally how a mansplainer gets his water, “well, actually” will explore the different angles of an argument or conversation & favor celebrating nuance & complexity over the short-term satisfaction of “hot take culture”.

It feels certifiably bananas insane to write this email and not acknowledge the ~vaguely gestures everywhere~ of the last week, to include ~checks notes~ threats of nuclear war, or, excuse me, the “destruction of an entire civilization.” As a matter of fact, for reference: This newsletter is typically all written, buttoned up, tested, and scheduled by Tuesday at noon. This week, I’m writing this about 1.5 hours before it would normally be scheduled to go out.

Why? Because for at least the first couple of days of this week, I wasn’t really sure WHAT to possibly write. Then there was the question of, “Do I write something, only to have to change it if XYZ happens?” Just generally speaking, if “destruction of entire civilization” + “retaliatory measures against US technology companies in an effort to slow the economy to a complete stop” happens, I do not expect you to read this newsletter that week. Consider this a pass.

If you’re like, “Okay, Danielle, that covers Monday and Tuesday, but WTF was your problem on Wednesday?” okay, easy there, reader, valid question. On Wednesday, my writing process was largely:

Step 1: Stare at screen
Step 2: Stare at screen but occasionally make notes
Step 3: Get up and walk around
Step 4: Husband walks into room. Accost him and talk at him for several minutes to make sense of what you are trying to write so that you can put it on paper. Send him away confused when you say he’s distracting you.
Step 5: Stare at screen
Step 6: Write outline of what you want to say
Step 7: Try to think of a joke or something funny for an intro since it’s been kind of a heavy week and your piece is basically insisting on introspection from your reader and you don’t want to sound like a Methodist¹ preacher
Step 8: Force yourself to think of every funny thing you’ve ever heard or said or seen or been around ever. Forcing oneself to think of humor always works, of course, due to the inorganic nature of humor.
Step 9: Realize over the course of several hours that you’ve never heard or said or seen or been around anything funny ever.
Step 10: Everyone is now asleep. Stay up for hours in the dark really forcing that intro joke. It will definitely work.

Like, CRAZY that that didn’t give me a decent result, right?

The truth is this: It’s been a goddamn exhausting, autistic burnout² sort of a week. I have things to say, I think they’re important, AND I also recognize that the delivery vehicle of a message might be more important now than ever, especially at a time when the internet basically exists to tell you what a bad person you are. I want this newsletter to be thought-provoking and challenging, not preachy or lecturing (if you are ever looking for the latter, might I recommend Threads?)

I also think that, after decades of professionally Having An Opinion On Things, there is sometimes more merit in knowing when to shut the fuck up because the world doesn’t need MORE noise at the moment, especially if what you want to say is only halfway through the baking process. Just because we have the ability to share what we’re thinking on a wide-scale public platform at all times doesn’t necessarily mean we should or need to do that, especially in times where information-gathering might be a better option.

So I guess the message in this moment that I can relay is this: Allow your brain to unscramble where you can. It’s been a long-running Gish gallop, and remember that the intent is to flood the zone. Despite any kind of pressure to speak up or out, or act, keep in mind that reflection, introspection, and self-education count as actions. How we speak is just as important as when we speak. Even if the rest of your feed seems to be demanding that we prioritize urgency and action and statements and SHARE THIS CONTENT SHARE IT SHARE IT SHARE IT (pay no attention to the engagement monetization behind the curtain), remember that organization takes time, meaningful movement takes time. Efficiency, urgency, scarcity: These are all corporate priorities. But you’re not (yourself) a corporation. 

In the meantime, I made a video (recorded even before the threat of whole civilization destruction) that was posted yesterday on the importance of making room for slow movements in a world where breaking news and breathless reactionary commentary is the norm. Check it out and, as always, share your thoughts if you are so moved.

Take care of your brains this week, friends.

¹Think John Wesley, Of Hell, Methodist and not like, Eddie Izzard innocuous Protestant denominations bit
²Different than regular burnout, autistic burnout can be an acute response to the exhaustion and stress of masking…or pretending to be “normal” when you absolutely are not feeling that inside

though “enshittification” is everywhere these days, sometimes there is a tool or company generally trying to provide something good & beneficial or improved. we recommend them here.

If, like me, you’re fed ALL THE WAY UP with how Google Chrome is basically useless these days, with how slow it is, with how often you need to update everything, with ALL THE DAMN ADS OMG, this email arrives bearing good news: there are other options. try these instead:

It is, of course, a worthwhile question: Isn’t using a Chromium-based browser just…using Google Chrome? Yes and no. The browsers are built on the same code base making swaps very easy, but several alternative browsers (like these two) strip out Google’s code in order to improve privacy and speed, among other things.

danielle has too many tabs open, but she swears they’re mostly interesting.

office d-talks is a q&a with danielle, known office-based human with opinions.

office d-talks is a new segment i’m adding to the newsletter where i answer your questions, no matter how serious, unhinged, biased, or funny they might be. ask my advice! ask my opinion! ask my history! ask for my weird stories! ask me questions i can’t answer! my office door is always open.

each week, we’ll end our newsletter with action item(s), or “what TF are you supposed to do about all this now?” we hope they help. 🤞🏻