🥗#7: some guys just want to eat salad while the world burns

as always, the online discourse surrounding a major event is totally normal and reasonable, promise

bonus rant #3: for people who hate drag culture, these guys sure talk a lot about ballroom

to be honest, i've seen the word written so many times that it's lost all meaning except for in Paris is Burning

April 2026 Featured Maximizer of Shareholder Value: Natalie Hoop

🫢#6 "seek therapy" but oh god not like that

maybe we should all know less about each other

bonus rant #2: regarding therapists, buttholes, and knowing too much about each other

should a professional license come with a healthy understanding of shame or, at the very least, responsibility?

🧠#5 how to know everything so you're better than everyone else

even if it's not possible and obviously bad for your health to try

🤪#4 this email could have been a nervous breakdown

we could still make it a meeting, if you want.

🤖#3: just once i want a coordinated *thot* attack

all the bots hate your famous bestie

🥵#2: i've had spicier armpits than some of these takes

what if we fell in love at the 4 minute mark on the TikTok video

bonus rant #1: we've "Jurassic Park"ed the business world

Building a world of work that actually *works* for everyone is an uphill battle in this day and age.